"There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson."
"I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES."
"Romance is dead - it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece."
"Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover."
"Tattoos, after all, are a passionate, usually doomed assertion of mastery of your own destiny, or at least a defiant embrace of one that you cannot control."
"Let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow."
"Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day, and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."
"Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation."
"Last time was awesome, all the lines we crossed em. I ain't a killer but don't push me, I'll OJ Simpson that pussy."
"Operator, give me the number for 911! "