Woody Allen Quotes

"Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously."

"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best."

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness."

"There are worse things in life than death. If you're ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you know exactly what I mean."

"There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more."

"I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable."

"Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable."

"Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words."

"What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?"