"Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do."
"Remember the 3 golden rules: 1. It was like that when I got here. 2. I didn't do it. 3. (To your Boss) I like your style."
"If you're gonna be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes - make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast."
"If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried."
"Never do today that which will become someone else's responsibility tomorrow."
"Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue."
"What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then in winter time he's got something to eat and he won't die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts."