Funny Quotes

"When women go wrong, men go right after them."

"Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off."

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. ..."

"Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously."

"Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do."

"It's funny how you go through the year day by day but nothing changes, then when you look back, everything's different."

"There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson."

"Remember the 3 golden rules: 1. It was like that when I got here. 2. I didn't do it. 3. (To your Boss) I like your style."

"He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of."

"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."